08 Aug 5 ADHD Time Traps & How to Conquer Them
By Betsy Stephens, LSW
What is Time Blindness?
It’s said that people with ADHD suffer from “time blindness,” here’s an inside look at where this struggle with the clock comes from.
You were supposed to be at the restaurant twenty minutes ago, but traffic is atrocious so you’re not getting there any time soon. You’d like to call your friend with an excuse, but you’ve used all the usual ones with this particular pal. For a split second, you consider telling her the truth about why you’re late, but you’re not exactly sure you could even put it into words. Getting anywhere on time just doesn’t seem possible for you. It never has.
If punctuality is something you’ve never quite mastered, it’s possible Attention Deficit Hyper-Activity Disorder (ADHD) is to blame.This aspect of ADHD is often called “time blindness” because people with ADHD often seem as if they have no concept of time. There are a myriad of reasons people with ADHD have trouble with time, and each of them relates to a specific executive function in the brain. Our brain’s executive function is sort of like the brain’s director. There’s more than one executive function, a few that are impacted by ADHD include: working memory, self awareness, planning and organizing, inhibition, attention, problem solving and motivation. Reading through this list might give you an idea of how these functions determine what the brain is going to do when, and how. Most of the executive functions reside in the brain’s prefrontal cortex, an area that imaging reveals is thinner in people with ADHD. This lack of density indicates a weaker ability for all functions in the prefrontal cortex, including the executive functions.
In this blog, we’ll highlight five different time traps for people with ADHD. We’ll explain why each trap occurs, and we’ll give you tips on how you can escape them.
ADHD Time Trap #1: Procrastination Station
Are you impervious to deadlines – until you realize you’ve missed it? You might have fallen into this time trap.
Do you find yourself thinking “I should get up and get ready” around the time you should get up and get ready, then you aren’t able to make yourself get up and get ready until way past time? Often people with ADHD (or their parents/teacher/co-workers) describe themselves as “lazy.” I would argue that people with ADHD are anything but lazy. Instead, they are struggling with the executive function of self-motivation.
The Executive Function Snare: Self Motivation
As you might suspect from its name, this executive function helps you motivate yourself even when there is no immediate external consequence. One type of external consequence is a deadline. Let’s say your deadline is to arrive at the movie theater by 7pm on Thursday. If you think of this deadline as a boulder, you could imagine that on Monday it would be way off in the distance. On Tuesday, the boulder gets a little closer, and on Wednesday, it gets closer still. Most people can see this figurative boulder moving toward them. As this figurative boulder nears, their motivation to prepare for its impending arrival builds.
People with ADHD often can’t see this boulder moving toward them–or maybe they can only catch glimpses of it. As a result, they don’t build the motivation needed to prepare for its arrival. They will eventually see the boulder, but not until it’s minutes away. When this happens, they will feel caught off guard and they may get a sudden rush of motivation–which can be better described as panic.
The Escape Hatch
If this sounds familiar to you, it can help to create a “boulder” outside of your head, where it will be easier for you to see. Of course, you should actually go out and get a giant boulder. Instead, try this: If you’ve got an event coming up in four days that you need to prepare for, put four Post-It notes on your refrigerator door, wall by your light switch, or another place that you sure to look every day. Each day, remove one of the Post-It notes–this can help you visualize the amount of time shrinking as you near your deadline. On the day of, try using a device like this Time Timer (https://a.co/d/0NkYDfQ) that will show time diminishing as your deadline approaches. Creating a “boulder” that you can see getting closer and closer can help you build the motivation needed to do what’s necessary to meet your deadline.
ADHD Time Trap #2: Confused by Clockwork
If you find that you constantly UNDERestimate the amount of time it takes to drive somewhere, put your make-up on, make a phone call, change a light-bulb, (fill in the blank), you might have fallen into this time trap.
Do you often assume you know how long it will take you to get ready, or to drive someplace, only to be surprised when it takes you TWICE as long–or maybe three times–as long? If so, you might be Confused by Clockwork.
The Executive Function Snare: Planning and Problem Solving
This executive function allows you to create a plan (whether it’s your daily schedule or something longer-term like writing a novel). It also allows you to refine, reformulate and update said plan when life throws you the inevitable curveball. Because getting somewhere on time involves multiple realms of planning – when to leave, how to get there, what to wear, what other scheduled events need to be considered, etc. –there are multiple opportunities for planning malfunctions. Now you’re calling on the executive function of planning and problem solving, not once, but multiple times. If you struggle with planning and problem solving, you’re certain to feel overwhelmed by this.
The Escape Hatch
Offload some of the planning and problem solving–luckily, there’s an app for that! If you have trouble estimating the amount of time it takes you to drive to your destination, put the address in Waze, Google Maps or Apple Maps. These apps will give you a surprisingly accurate estimated time the drive will take. Don’t forget that times can change, depending on the amount of traffic. It can be helpful to check the day before at the same time of day that you plan to go. If you’re doing this the day of, start checking about an hour before you’re supposed to arrive and keep checking in until you zero in on the right time to leave. If estimating how long it takes you to get dressed in the morning, time yourself getting dressed every day for a week. At the end of the week, look over the times and note the largest amount. This is how much time you should factor in when determining what time you should wake for any given activity.
ADHD Time Trap # 3: Friend of Forgetfulness
You could have SWORN your dentist appointment was at 4 o’clock, but here it is 3:10pm and the office is calling to ask where you are. How did you mix up the time–again?
You forget that you’re supposed to be somewhere then remember – a little too late–with a panic. Now you have to race to get there, coming up with excuses on your way. It’s very possible that you’ve gotten a little too familiar with forgetfulness.
The Executive Function Snare: Working Memory
Your ability to hold more than one thought in your mind at once is determined by the strength of your working memory. So, if you’re thinking of all the things you need to do tomorrow—check in on your ailing aunt, buy deodorant, reschedule your doctor’s appointment—a weak working memory might mean there’s no room for what you’re supposed to be doing today. (That’s why a weak working memory can make you a friend of forgetfulness.)
Escape Hatch
Stop trying to walk around with a visual of your calendar in your head. Get a calendar and write your activities on it. Set a reminder on your phone to look at your calendar every morning. Check what’s going on for the day and take a quick glimpse at the rest of the week. Choose one day each week, maybe Sunday, to look three months ahead in your calendar and work your way back. If you use a digital calendar on your phone, or Google calendar, you can set up alerts so you can get digital reminders of your appointments. If you prefer paper calendars to digital, you can still utilize the alerts on your phone. When you go through your calendar each morning, put an alert for important events in your phone’s calendar.
ADHD Time Trap #4: Distraction Attraction
Even when you’re on track to walk out the door on time, SOMETHING always seems to derail you at the last minute–Oops! You’ve fallen into the distraction attraction trap.
This is you, if you COULD leave on time, but you instead get distracted by a text, phone call, an article you’ve been meaning to read. Oh, or then there’s the song on the radio that reminds you of the outfit you wanted to wash in time to wear to an upcoming (unrelated) event!
The Executive Function Snare: Inhibition
This executive function helps you control impulses. Weak inhibition can make it hard for you to stay on track when trying to get somewhere on time because you wouldn’t be able to control the urge to check your social media sites, hit the drive thru when you pass Starbucks, or stop and talk to your neighbor—and tell him the longer version of the latest gossip because you just can’t resist including every last detail!
Escape Hatch
If you find that you’re always ready on time, but you get lost in other activities then miss your deadline to leave, set an alarm to go off 5 minutes before you are to leave and a second alarm for when you’re supposed to leave. Make sure this alarm is guaranteed to get your attention. Try the “Bell Tower” sound, if you set your alarm on the iPhone. Or try using an extra loud alarm clock like the Sonic Bomb (https://a.co/d/67NXPrp)
ADHD Time Trap #5: Focus for Daze
You often thought there’s no way you can have ADHD because you’ve got massive amounts of focus – case in point: Call of Duty. Your focus is so intense, you’re not distracted by anything else – especially not the clock.
You look at the clock and you’ve got 30 minutes until you have to leave. No problem. All you have to do is get dressed, brush your teeth, maybe touch up your make-up–15 minutes, tops! As you’re finishing up, you glance at the clock and–gasp!–55 minutes have passed. How did that happen? You were so caught up in what you were doing that you didn’t notice how quickly the time was flying by.
The Executive Function Snare: Self-Awareness
This executive function allows us to be aware of what we’re doing at any given moment. Without self-awareness, we can get “lost in time” completely unaware of what’s happening–or what’s supposed to be happening–around us. This is what most people are referring to when they use the term “time blindness.” Without this awareness, it’s easy to get caught up in doing something and lose track of time whether it’s staring off into space, watching endless YouTube videos or sending an angry email to your co-worker without any awareness that you’re risking running late.
Escape Hatch
Tempt yourself out of the daze with a high interest “shiny object.” Maybe plan to stop and get a bubble tea on the way, or save a phone call to someone you’ve been wanting to talk to for the drive. Pairing the chore of getting yourself there with something to look forward to will make it less likely that your attention will become hijacked.
If you find yourself constantly losing time when engaging in a particular activity, guard against this with an external cue that will keep you aware of time. For example, if you find that the act of getting ready has become an activity that you get lost in time with, create a “get ready” playlist. Choose a number of songs that will last only for the amount of time you would like to spend getting ready. Hit play when you start getting ready. Time’s up when the music ends. Be sure to play the same songs, in the same order every time. It might take a couple of tries, but you’ll soon start to fall into a rhythm. You might even begin to feel a sense of urgency when you hear the last song playing.
Next time you spot an ADHD time trap, practice some of the above tips to side-step them. Time traps can be tricky and it can take trial and error to feel more confident. If you would like to learn more tips and tricks for ADHD time blindness, please give us a call to connect to one of our ADHD therapists!
About the Author: Betsy Stephens is a Licensed Social Worker in New Jersey. She practices at Verne Psychotherapy and Wellness LLC. Her specialties include treating Trauma/Post Traumatic Stress, OCD, ADHD, Bipolar Disorder, Stress, Anxiety, and Depression. Betsy uses Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT), mindfulness-based psychotherapy, and strengths-based approaches in her therapeutic work. She enjoys helping her clients find the best version of themselves.